Tag Archives: soul-searching

Damaged

 

356 - Copy

 

I was born a blank slate, the byproduct of the proletarian class

birthed into a superstitious clan, the socially awkward kind

Saints on the wall and ghosts in the machine to explain away

things they could not understand, holding on to empty dreams

and addicting medications to soften damaged minds

We are the vehicles broken down on the side of the road

vehicles to carry the load

vehicles improperly maintained

not enough fuel in our tanks to deliver us where we want to go

We are desperate dogs sleeping beneath park benches in need of awakening

with razor sharp teeth capable of ripping

flesh from bone

caged animals never biting the hand that feeds

We are replaceable cogs in a machine that keeps rolling

disposable people eking out an existence in a disposable world

nothing of substance in our lives, nothing to connect to

and when knowledge is spawned through grief

only the damaged grow aware

Cello Heart

1270 - Copy2

 

My heart is a cello tuned in perfect fifths

take your bow and gently caress these heartstrings

coax from me dark emotions once latent

deep mournful sounds of an artic caribou searching

frozen woods for a lost lover no longer earth bound

with your bow play my heart, scratch this soul

evoke images of ruinous times

swirling grey smoke of smoldering dreams

crumbling brick on scorched black terrain

on my cello heart play the lonely song of a sperm whale

searching for companionship in deepest seas

play the tears of an orphaned child in some foreign land

hopelessness of a junkie lost in a roach infested dive

hot needle piercing the vein

with your expert bow play this cello heart

tithe my allegiance to your cause

tithe my time to the cause

tithe my pay to the cause

tithe my blood to the cause

tithe my tithes to the cause

play this cello heart

Vagabond

cropped-backrods-cover-photo2-e1408054396581.jpg

 

He might be Woody Guthrie or Jack Kerouac

riding boxcars or on the road searching for a soul

Tom and his blood clan Joad

crossing the desert searching for work

any job will do

you can spot his hopelessness by that mangy, tattered look

You’ve seen him at highway rest stops and dive hotels

he’s the hitchhiker you didn’t pick up

the reason you avoid truck stops

He’s the graffiti on the side of a boxcar passing in the rain

fresh footsteps in new fallen snow

the one that looks like Jesus combing the beach

he reminds of freedom and he’s the reason you dream of leaving

When times become tight he finds solace in a bone orchard

dreaming of companions lost

taking refuge under the cover of the moon

a silver beam for a blanket pulled over weary head

When road stake runs low

he never wavers from following the code

 

I’m a vagabond on the roll

trekking far and wide, seeking anything I can find

to heal this fractured soul

On a black river of disconnection an asphalt ribbon carries me

from Smokey Mountains to Denver, seeking sanctuary

across red desert sands where grains are fused like glass

reflecting back this flight as destiny slips through my hands

When storms come and I’m seeking higher ground

winding through mountain passes where shamans dwell

I’ll shed my load in temples where secrets of ancients can be found

Possible futures I see

silhouetted against a perpetually moving horizon

and this driving thirst has been whetted

this thirst to push on, find answers that lay beyond

Destination unknown

this vagabond rides into a tangerine sky

so many days on the run

too many days I’ve spent

chasing the sun

Worker’s Prayer

Kneel down at the corporate altar

pray for economic strength

record profits

a healthy stock market

wait for the riches to trickle down

Cry and scream

at the corporate wailing wall

beg manufactures not to leave

move factories to foreign lands

no no no

please don’t take away

high paying jobs and financial security

our carrot on a stick

that keeps us pushing forward

craving education

pushing us harder to achieve

comfort for our families

We will frequent your temples

five days a week, if given the opportunity

eight hours a day, more if you request

whatever it takes to ensure your success

try to be something greater

shed blood sweat and tears

sell our souls

sacrifice our lives

to serve your purpose

This blood stained altar erected just for you

we’ve adorned with tax abatements

loopholes

and off shore banks

so you can protect your wealth

met your demands

so we all might prosper

only to discover

that the only thing trickling down

is your shit

In The End

 

In the end

if my hands and heart are scarred

then know I’ve fared well

for each scar is a memory, a medal of honor

for challenges defeated, every battle won

In the end I will not be pure

pure like mountain streams born of snowmelt

for purity is a lack of experience

and I am the stream when it makes the delta

a thousand miles from home

depositing my silt into the ocean of the universe

(from The Evolution of Disconnect)

Searching

Sometimes I see you, just out of view

out of the corner of an eye, quick as a hummingbird in flight

when I turn my head you’re gone, as if you were none

as if you were never there, vanishing into air

Once I took the last exit, final train of thought so desperate

to that junction where the bridge had crumbled

the road disappeared into rubble

tried to reach you where a harsh wind blew

down a winding path into desolation’s wrath

knocking on closed doors, not knowing what I’m looking for

but no one was home

in this land of desperation I roam

Changed my name a time or two

spinning bullets in a revolver so few

changed my address

another move in this game of chess

a new street in a new town

facing my shadow in a showdown

Tried a new scene, escaping old routines

changed my ways hoping for better days

spent a lifetime dodging Life’s mines

searching for myself, searching for you, searching all the time

knocking on closed doors

never knowing what I’m looking for

but no one was home

in this land of desperation I roam

(Searching originally appeared in the poetry collection, Back Roads)

Broken Stars

 

Shards of stars glisten brightly in noonday sun

pieces of dreams strewn across an abandoned yard

pick each fragment up, turn them over in my hands

these broken dreams of broken men that never mend

careful not to cut the flesh, dispose of shards in a can

for I will not bleed another man’s regret

many lessons learned but none greater I have met

when the sun shines brightly, stars still shatter yet

and sometimes Illumination is a lie that must be told

because this house was condemned long ago

 

(from The Evolution of Disconnect)

Red Ball

Red Ball originally appeared in  Urban Hymns

 

095

 

Red ball

I am a ribbon of light along the eastern horizon

gently peeking at this brand new world

gathering courage to rise

growing slowly aware

shattering darkness at dawn

I am a melting yellow sun at noon

spreading across the sky

unstoppable, unfathomable, impossible to look upon

dissolving shadows

reaching my zenith in late afternoon

I am the evening sun in twilight hours

final ribbon of light carrying the particles

pieces of everything complete

disintegrating into a red ball sinking into my horizon

dimming down, once and for all, dying out

particles of being absorbed into the night

Unplug

Frenetic heart beat

of a city

in violent upheaval

religion of

devout conformists

scars of struggle

tattooed

across my back

compressed thoughts

repressed emotions

my soul

will never be controlled

for I am a wanderer

in search of spirituality

in places

others fear to look

and it comes naturally

to

unplug from society

disconnect

and simply walk away

at sunset

I have wandered through

philosophy and science

dogma and poetry

fiction and reality

only to find

embedded in each drop of rain

is a whisper

of truth

Companion Storm (Excerpt) Photography & Verse

Companion Storm,  the complimentary book to the novel Broken Highways. chronicles my recent journey of self discovery through photography and verse. I hope you enjoy this little snippet:

Winter’s approaching death,

barren trees

silhouetted against a waning sun;

a cello sonata echoes

in the recesses of my mind

730

Come winter, when the world turns various shades of death, I find myself listening to cello sonatas with increasing frequency. I don’t know why.

Cello sonatas

in the spaces,

between thoughts

For more info on Companion Storm please visit http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B674ZES

For info on Broken Highways: Gypsy Edition, please visit: http://goo.gl/tBEV8